My sister launched me to the idea. “We have a weekly marriage meeting every Sunday night,” she shared. “Just to check in with each other and get on the same page.” Instantly intrigued, I requested her to ship me her agenda and introduced to my husband that our first official marriage assembly can be this Sunday—don’t be late. To my shock, he raised his eyebrows in curious curiosity. “Sure. Sounds good,” he mentioned.
That Sunday, we sat down on the eating desk. I pulled up the questions, and we began speaking. He was completely sport, and the additional we bought into it, the extra we realized what we’d been lacking. We speak on a regular basis, however this was completely different. There was intention behind it—a framework that guided us via significant conversations, from who was taking the children to the dentist to why I felt fully overwhelmed by 5 p.m. each day. It was an antidote to my psychological load.
Featured picture from our interview with Claire Zinnecker.
There’s been loads of discourse about whether or not a weekly {couples} assembly is simply the “corporatization” of marriage. An administrative assembly together with your companion? Might you be much less horny? I see that very same skepticism within the eyes of mates of their early years of marriage once they ask me about wholesome communication.
However in our case, our weekly assembly is something however unsexy. If something, it’s change into one in every of our strongest relationship habits—persistently deepening our intimacy. It provides us a set time to look one another within the eye, hear absolutely, and be heard with out distraction. Sure, we speak each day, however this sit-down creates house for every little thing from logistics to feelings with out bringing down the vibe. It units us up for per week the place we’re aligned as companions, teammates, dad and mom, and lovers. Greater than something, it’s been the linchpin of our relationship—and, by extension, our household.
These conferences started to breathe life into our relationship and set us up for per week the place we had been on the identical web page logistically and emotionally.
Let’s be clear—having a weekly marriage assembly doesn’t imply we by no means argue or that our relationship is instantly “perfect,” no matter meaning. We’ve even skipped a couple of Sundays in favor of a Netflix binge, and that doesn’t imply we’ve failed. The purpose of the assembly is to strengthen our connection—and to acknowledge when it’s time to dive again in.
What Is a Marriage Assembly?
A wedding assembly is a daily, intentional time to pause and join together with your companion. It’s an opportunity to test in, encourage each other, and nurture a relationship that’s wholesome, romantic, and stuffed with pleasure. And when your psychological load feels overwhelming, that is the way you create house for one another.
Deliberately noticing your companion’s actions all through the week is the inspiration of deeper connection—and romance.
Placing intention behind noticing your companion’s actions through the week is a breeding floor for love.
The Advantages of a Weekly Marriage Assembly
I might write pages on why these conferences work, however let’s maintain it easy:
It deepens intimacy. Relationships evolve consistently, and there’s all the time one thing new to study. Weekly check-ins create house for significant conversations—mental, emotional, religious, and bodily. In addition they assist handle logistics. As a result of if in case you have children, you know the way rapidly a romantic date-night chat can flip right into a dialogue about soccer schedules and dentist appointments. The assembly provides these conversations a house, in order that they don’t take over each interplay.
It helps stop battle. Common conferences maintain you aligned, set clear expectations for the week, and supply an area to debate unresolved points earlier than they escalate.
It retains the romance alive. Constant communication fights complacency and prevents “roommate syndrome.” These conferences aren’t nearly logistics—they create alternatives for connection on each stage.
Tips on how to Maintain a Marriage Assembly
1. Schedule It Weekly
Decide a day and time, put it on the calendar, and stick with it. Make it a behavior.
2. Select a Snug Spot
Sit collectively on the sofa or on the eating desk—someplace you may deal with one another.
3. Restrict Distractions
Flip off notifications. You probably have children, schedule the assembly once they’re asleep.
4. Convey Your Instruments
Have entry to calendars or planning apps. Jot down notes if wanted.
5. Maintain It Brief
A fast check-in makes it a simple behavior to take care of. However full disclosure? My husband and I all the time say, “Let’s do this fast so we can watch Netflix,” and by some means, we find yourself speaking well past half-hour. Typically as a result of we have to. Typically as a result of we need to. And generally… as a result of we instantly really feel like skipping Netflix for different causes.
Above all, this assembly ought to by no means really feel like a chore. If it does, reframe it: That is what you vowed to do. It’s the way you nurture your relationship. The important thing? Make it satisfying and share the accountability. Whereas one companion might take the lead at first, over time, you’ll each look ahead to this time collectively.
Marriage Assembly Questions + Agenda
Fairly than sticking to a inflexible script, I like to recommend choosing a couple of questions from the listing beneath, together with a pair that may really feel a bit difficult. You by no means know which one would possibly open a brand new door in your relationship.
I maintain a working be aware on my telephone with questions and dialogue factors. It’s a residing doc that shifts with the seasons of our relationship. Typically, I’ll jot down our solutions—particularly after we’re working towards a shared purpose or supporting one another in private or profession progress. However more often than not, we merely open the ground and speak.
1. Begin With Gratitude
Set the tone with appreciation. Gratitude is highly effective—particularly when directed towards your companion.
Take turns sharing particular stuff you appreciated from the previous week. A number of examples:
Thanks for making the children’ lunches at evening—it made our mornings a lot smoother.
I actually appreciated you dealing with that invoice after I was confused.
It was so candy of you to choose up my favourite drink in your means house.
Bonus: While you deal with what your companion does fairly than what they don’t do, it naturally creates extra connection and affection. And once you really feel appreciated, you’re extra prone to present up for one another in significant methods.
Give a praise, too—particularly a bodily one. “Your bedhead was ridiculously cute this morning,” or “The way you wore that dress…” Science backs this up: the extra you deliberately discover and admire your companion, the extra enticing they change into.
2. Speak Logistics
Now that you simply’re feeling linked, transfer on to the sensible stuff. However maintain it temporary—in any other case, logistics can take over.
What’s in your schedule this week? Examine calendars. Flag appointments, faculty actions, or something that wants planning.
Who’s dealing with what? Divide duties like faculty pickups, family chores, or errands.
What are your prime work priorities? This offers perception into one another’s week and units expectations.
How are we doing financially? A fast check-in on cash objectives, spending, or upcoming bills.
If a subject sparks battle, desk it for a separate dialog.
3. Plan Forward
Constructing a life collectively ought to be enjoyable. And life is all the time extra enjoyable when you might have blissful issues to look ahead to. It’s simple to speak about it, so right here is the place you dig into the doing. Use this time to deliberately construct enjoyable and play into your life.
Schedule date nights. Do you might have a standing date evening? Put it on the calendar. You probably have children, schedule solo time with them, too.
Plan private relaxation days. My husband and I every take a quarterly relaxation day—guilt-free. It’s an opportunity to recharge and do no matter we would like solo. If the thought of taking 4 days a yr for your self feels unimaginable, it’s price asking why.
Plan enjoyable issues collectively. Household outings, holidays, time with mates—ensure that these moments don’t get misplaced within the shuffle.
4. Deal with Challenges and Join
That is your house to test in on deeper subjects. Begin small and construct belief over time—consider it like a muscle that strengthens with observe.
Any unresolved battle? Strategy this as a workforce, with a problem-solving mindset.
Verify in on parenting. Any challenges or conduct points together with your children? How are you going to help one another in parenting?
Non secular check-in. This may imply many issues—is God chatting with you this week? Have you ever had any revelations via journaling? Simply let it open the door for dialog.
How can I help (or serve or encourage) you this week? A easy however highly effective query that builds a basis of partnership.
Verify in in your intercourse life. Being conscious about intimacy in a structured setting removes awkwardness and ensures the dialog occurs recurrently. You could be stunned by what your companion shares.
Closing the Assembly
Finish on a significant be aware. Perhaps you:
Make a promise to one another for the week.
Set a shared intention.
Say a prayer collectively.
Reply a lighthearted or intimate query.
And eventually—present some affection. Have you ever heard about the advantages of a 20-second hug? Analysis exhibits that holding one another for 20 seconds releases oxytocin (aka the “cuddle hormone”) and reduces stress. Strive it—you’ll actually really feel your physique loosen up. You might additionally high-five. Or kiss. Or… properly, you get the thought. Whichever means you shut out your assembly, ensure that it ends with a connection. You’ll be glad you probably did.
The Energy of a Weekly {Couples} Assembly
At its core, a wedding assembly is about prioritizing one another—creating house for connection, communication, and intentionality in your relationship. It’s not about reaching perfection or eliminating battle, however fairly constructing a robust basis the place each companions really feel seen, supported, and aligned.
By these weekly check-ins, you create a rhythm of appreciation, shared accountability, and deeper intimacy. From expressing gratitude to planning for the week forward, these conferences make sure that the small, on a regular basis moments don’t get misplaced within the shuffle. And whereas they could begin as a structured observe, over time, they change into second nature—one thing you each look ahead to as a solution to keep linked amidst the busyness of life.
So whether or not you begin with a couple of easy questions or dive in with a full agenda, the hot button is consistency. Deal with this time as a present to your relationship—one which not solely strengthens your partnership but additionally enriches your loved ones and the life you’re constructing collectively.
This put up was final up to date on March 6, 2025 to incorporate new insights.
