On the Shelf
‘Good Time Lady’
By Heather GaySimon & Schuster: 288 pages, $30If you purchase books linked on our website, The Occasions could earn a fee from Bookshop.org, whose charges help unbiased bookstores.
When a “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” castmate first described Heather Homosexual as a “good time girl” who uncovered her breasts whereas attending Brigham Younger College, an insulted Homosexual insisted that couldn’t be farther from the reality. She wished that was her popularity, however the identify plagued her within the early days of the Bravo collection and brought about a rift with Lisa Barlow, the castmate describing her that means. (The pair are shut now.)
Some 4 years later, Homosexual has reclaimed the label that after irked her and titled her second e-book — a follow-up to her 2023 debut, “Bad Mormon” — “Good Time Girl,” out Dec. 3 through Gallery Books.
In it, Homosexual, 50, reveals that she was at all times a “good time girl” on the within, however her Mormon religion finally dimmed that mild; she recounts weak anecdotes about bedwetting, her ex-husband throwing out her CD instances and a friendship with a lesbian named Martha. When it got here to deciding which tales to inform, Homosexual requested herself: “How can I be honest about my marriage, honest about young motherhood, and still honor their father, their history and their story?” For her, it was a “really delicate balance.”
She considers “Good Time Girl” a chance for her to embrace the id she as soon as pushed away as a result of her since-abandoned Mormon religion. “It’s crazy to look back at who I was,” Homosexual says over the cellphone from her lounge in Salt Lake Metropolis. “Somehow wherever you go, there you are. I couldn’t escape it.”
In an interview, Homosexual displays on leaving Mormonism behind, final season’s Actuality Von Tease reveal and the way changing into a actuality TV star modified her life, giving a shoutout to Magnificence Bar + Laser, a Utah enterprise she co-owns with Dre Robinson, alongside the best way.
After “Bad Mormon” got here out, do you know you instantly wished to write down one other e-book?
Properly, I had 10 books in me. After I wrote “Bad Mormon,” I wanted to trim it down, so I used to be simply chomping on the bit to write down a second one. However actually what motivated me to do it so shortly was the response we bought from “Bad Mormon” and the best way that that was simply so fulfilling to me in so some ways, and actually helped me transition out of the church. [It] actually helped me by means of laborious instances with “Housewives.”
The label “good-time girl” turned this scarlet letter that was following you round at the start of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” which you’ve clearly reclaimed. What introduced you thus far, and what made it good for the title of this e-book?
There’s no query that my life has radically remodeled within the final 5 years, and it’s due to “Housewives.” It’s due to moments like Season 1, when Lisa says, “I think she’s like, ‘Woo, a good-time girl.’” That was my first time being uncovered to the world, and to have that be my popularity, I used to be so embarrassed and ashamed. Quick-forward 5 years later, when you consider the issues I’ve been by means of on tv, that was nothing. And now “good-time girl” has turn into the rationale I’m having fun with my life. That identify turned what I wished to be moderately than one thing I used to be afraid of.
Heather Homosexual has leaned into the picture she as soon as rejected with the duvet of “Good Time Girl.”
(Gallery Books)
That is sensible. It’s been actually unimaginable seeing you open up about discovering freedom from Mormonism. Do you’re feeling like, with out this present, you’d have been capable of embrace your self absolutely?
No, by no means. “Housewives” actually was the one means for me out. It rescued me as a result of I wouldn’t have had the monetary independence, and I wouldn’t have had the help. I do know that sounds loopy, however the followers are so supportive and [so is] the group of “bad Mormons.” Writing the primary e-book and seeing that group simply explode in entrance of me turned the help system that I wanted to be able to transition out of the religion. There are issues I’m saying on this e-book that I used to be afraid to say three years in the past. Yearly, as I get farther away from the religion and farther away from the indoctrination, I can see extra clearly.
Inform me why it was necessary so that you can talk about your nonetheless discomfort round intercourse in addition to the present challenges inside the courting scene.
Numerous who I’m on tv and who I’m in actual life is a contradiction. I prefer to make jokes, I prefer to have all this bravado, however I’m actually sort of a prude and shy. It’s these two conflicting worlds, and I grew up in such a steep purity tradition that it’s simply hilarious to me how what I assumed was brazen and inappropriate was regular rites of passage for any teenage lady or younger grownup. However I at all times thought it made me some depraved individual. So while you’re not taking a look at your self by means of that lens of wickedness, ardour and all of the issues that I assumed had been detrimental, now I can see how they affected me. However on the similar time, it doesn’t imply there’s not baggage. I’d like to be sexually free as my daughters are, however that was not the world I grew up in. And I need to ensure that I’m trustworthy about it as a result of illustration issues, and I’m certain there’s different girls on the market who really feel it and need to speak about it.
How did you choose the tales to inform for this e-book?
I seemed again on core recollections in my life that I had considered as me being a sign of my weak point, my wickedness, my take care of the satan, so to talk. And the final 5 years, I’ve been dwelling outdoors of the church, brazenly not Mormon, having intercourse, consuming, doing issues that any grownup divorcée must be doing, however for me, it was [under] this umbrella of “forbidden.” That’s comparatively small in comparison with my whole life. So I seemed again at core recollections I had that had been formed by disgrace, my perspective, and by my religion and my id as a Mormon. I wished to look again at these and forgive that little lady, keep in mind her, honor her, and honor her recollections and forgive myself now for why I’m the strolling contradiction that I’m.
How did the “receipts, proof, timeline, screenshots” second in Season 4 of “Housewives” change your life and trajectory on the present?
I’ve at all times, my complete life, wished to say that. I’d hope that it earns me an honorary star among the many greats in these fiery Housewives, only a star on the “Housewives Walk of Fame” in Andy’s Clubhouse. I hadn’t actually considered it on a private stage, however my fast reply is it’s essentially modified my relationship with my castmates and with my mates. It completely transfigured it. It felt like there was one thing transformative that occurred to our friendship and to our bond. And although we’ve had tons of battle and we’re nonetheless working by means of quite a lot of our residual battle, I nonetheless really feel that love and loyalty that I can solely attest to that evening in Bermuda and the best way that all of us bonded collectively and the best way we had one another’s backs. It modified every part for me — my consolation stage on the present, my pleasure in filming, my want to be out and about and in my love of being a Housewife, which is my new id in so some ways.
There are clearly cases of “Housewives” which might be extra produced than others. How a lot of what we really noticed throughout that Bermuda episode the place Monica [Garcia] was uncovered as Actuality Von Tease occurred in actual time?
The one factor that we knew after we walked into that dinner, the 4 of us, was what we had been capable of share in that hour on the seaside. And everybody addressed within the finale what they knew. However the best way that all of them had my again … as a result of I needed to say to them, “Listen, this information is still coming in, but I have seen it. I’ve seen the proof, I’ve seen the screenshots, it’s undeniable.” And in Housewives code, it’s like, you’re going to should take my phrase on it. I imply, I couldn’t present them the file of knowledge that was coming in at the moment. So it was actually simply we knew what we had been by means of, and we knew what we had been dealing with. We simply supported one another in that second. The aftermath is after we actually noticed the true timeline of all of it — it was mainly what you noticed on TV besides it was drawn out. It was the one time we’ve had a finale when there have been no producers on the sector. We had nobody on the market encouraging us to speak or pouring us drinks. We had been on the market uncovered for hours and combating about it. It was a loopy, loopy evening. You needed to be there to imagine it. So I felt obligated to write down about it, to deliver the readers into as a lot of that behind-the-scenes expertise as doable. As a result of dwelling it was loopy, and I can’t even think about watching it for the primary time with out having lived it.
It felt like watching “The Mole.” It was wild, and I used to be so impressed by it. I used to be like, “Wow, you could work for the FBI.”
My dad really labored for the FBI. Possibly it’s in my DNA.
Have you ever been in contact with Monica in any respect since every part?
No. We did have an ongoing authorized battle, however we had a abstract judgment and the decide awarded us, in our favor, every part. So I feel that’s going to be my final contact together with her. She got here to a deposition, and that’s the final time I’ve seen her. However we didn’t converse.
How usually do you hang around with the opposite solid members while you’re not filming?
Properly, greater than I’d like. The reality is, I do hang around with Meredith [Marks] each time she’s on the town as a result of she’s like ships within the evening. You’ve bought to take pleasure in and see Meredith when she’s there. Lisa had a gap for her Vida lounge, and I used to be first in line. We attempt to really go to dinner or drinks, all of us, each time we’re in full glam. We don’t prefer to waste the make-up. So if we had a press day, had an look or had confessionals, we’ll textual content one another and be like, “Do you want to grab drinks? I don’t want to waste the makeup.” Salt Lake Metropolis’s a really small city, and we see one another loads inadvertently or mates of mates loads. It’s an in depth group.
You continue to have mates who’re concerned with Mormonism. What’s your relationship with the faith now?
It’s actually difficult, and it’s actually charged. My mates nonetheless within the church who’re nonetheless mates with me simply don’t speak to me concerning the present. They don’t speak to me concerning the e-book. They speak to me about my youngsters, my home, my yard or my outfit. You are feeling fairly invisible. On this group, it principally impacts my youngsters. I needed to go to my daughter’s live performance choir efficiency and it was held in a gorgeous acoustic area, which occurs to be the Mormon Tabernacle. And guess what? The Mormon Tabernacle is staffed by Mormon volunteers, Mormon hosts, Mormon ushers, they usually’re all in Mormon garments with their tags. Even when they did acknowledge me, they wouldn’t acknowledge it. So I’m simply going to go to my little one’s live performance feeling like I shouldn’t have a bag over my head or I’m unfit to be there. Despite the fact that it’s open to the general public, it’s a free live performance and they’d say everybody’s welcome. However due to the place I’ve taken, and the issues I’ve mentioned, I really feel like a traitor. And that’s my day by day life. I really feel like I’ve let down the expertise for myself and my youngsters as a result of every part in my group is constructed round Mormonism.
That’s so robust. One thing you handle within the e-book is utilizing Ozempic, weight reduction and the way folks have handled you in a different way since. Why was it necessary so that you can handle this?
I wished to handle it as a result of, as soon as once more, it’s a strolling contradiction the place I publicly announce to the world that I’m on Ozempic and what the expertise is like and the way I’ve misplaced weight, however then within the subsequent, “but don’t talk about my body.” So it simply felt like a extremely charged matter. Physique positivity modified my life and made it a safer world the place I may even really feel snug occurring tv and I’d embrace who I used to be. However I additionally at all times want I may match into smaller garments. It’s simply this contradiction. I may see the place I used to be at, however I wouldn’t have instructed anybody about Ozempic if it hadn’t labored. It felt like I needed to share it as a result of it was, as soon as once more, a strolling contradiction. You had been pleased representing the midsize ladies, and now you’ve someway betrayed that group by shedding pounds. Like I mentioned within the e-book, no matter my pants dimension, my issues by no means shrink accordingly.
What’s your perspective on “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”?
I like them as a result of they’re youthful, braver and extra developed than I used to be once I thought I might be a Housewife and simply put on garments that seemed like I is perhaps carrying my clothes and carry milk across the cocktail events. That world the place you possibly can reside each methods. I’m excited to see what occurs to them of their marriages and their lives as a result of I’m on the opposite aspect of it now. I do know what it was prefer to be a younger Mormon mother, and it’s actually, actually laborious.
Have any of these solid members been in contact with you for the reason that present aired?
No, they haven’t reached out for recommendation, which is disappointing, as a result of they don’t see themselves as “bad Mormons.” That’s what’s attention-grabbing about our religion: that they’ll see themselves as dangerous Mormons ultimately, the world will inform them they’re. I do know Demi [Engemann] by means of Angie Harrington and her ex-husband, Bret, so I’ve seen her at 4th of July events and Christmas get-togethers as a result of they’re actually pleasant. However that’s it. I’m going to attempt to get all of [the cast] to return to Magnificence Lab although. These are my potential clients and influencers, they usually’re attractive.
Within the present season of “Housewives,” there’s a notable rift between you and Bronwyn [Newport]. The place do you guys stand now?
Oh, Bronwyn. They’re fairly shitty. I’ll simply say that, and I’m not simply referring to her home. I imply, it’s not that deep. She hasn’t grown on me but. The place I’ll have empathy, it doesn’t imply I’ve affection.
What’s your perspective on marriage now?
It’s a farce, and run from it. I feel marriage is like faith. It advantages straight white males, however it advantages males. Monetary independence offers you selections.
What would you like for your self and your life sooner or later?
It makes me emotional to have somebody ask that as a result of for therefore lengthy, I simply by no means had a future. Even once I began “Housewives,” I simply thought episode to episode, season to season. Day-after-day appears like I’m on borrowed time. Proper now I’m on this honeymoon interval. My ladies are adults. They’re my finest mates. They’re so pleased. I’ve damaged these generational chains, and my hope and my dream now’s to take pleasure in this life we’ve created collectively for so long as doable. They’re the rationale that I’ve survived, they usually’re the rationale I’m right here as we speak.
